trudging through september
on suicide-prevention month and protecting your peace (a care package)
September approaching… I feel I owe myself a brief respite of leisure and no rushing around. I can’t face the dead reality. I want rainy days, lanterns and a hundred moons twining in dark leaves, music spilling out and echoing yet inside my head.
—Sylvia Plath
Things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.
—Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
There are so many beautiful prose about September, and so many festivities and pumpkin-flavored things to get excited about that, sometimes, I forget autumn can also feel like trudging through mud, and slipping. Fall flaunts its name proudly, I suppose. There are so many things to think about.
Maybe, for you, summer was hard and autumn is associated with respite. Or, maybe it was the other way around; maybe summer was love, and as we dip into fall you’re expecting your happiness to be harvested. Or, maybe it’s neither of these things, but rather a secret third: You’re gumboots are like glue. You’ve been tracking mud through all the seasons, and now you’re back to pick up more.
We don’t want that.
Nobody wants that for themselves, and nobody wants that for you, either. We have to remember that asking for help is okay and that—even though it might take some searching—there will always be someone willing to give you their boots, and lighten the load.
It is important that if you see someone struggling, you remember that you have the power to ease that struggle. In some cases, this can be the soul difference between life and death. Please, consider the bystander effect:
The Bystander Effect & Kitty Genovese:
The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological phenomenon that suggests most individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim in the presence of other people. So, essentially, this is when people refrain from helping in an emergency because they assume someone else will. An example of this phenomenon in action is the murder of Kitty Genovese.
On March 13, 1964, Kitty Genovese was raped and stabbed outside of her apartment building. It was later reported that 38 witnesses saw or heard the attack while it was taking place, but no one went to her aid or called the police.
The bystander effect was proposed in 1964, after Kitty’s death, and since then it has had many people wondering as to why it occurs in the first place. Social psychologists John Darley and Bibb Latané suggest there are three reasons:
People feel less personal responsibility when they are among others.
Apprehension occurs. An individual feels they will be judged or mistaken if they interfere.
Groupthink occurs. Meaning, in a sense, that even if someone disagrees with certain actions or behaviors, they will still go along with the majority.
Please don’t be a bystander. I am going to attach some suicide-prevention links below to make sure everyone knows what signs to look out for (and who to go to for help) but, besides that, my boiled-down plan for this post was to spread some joy. So, to start that act off, I would simply like to say:
Today is September 7, 2024, and I’m so happy you’re here. I really hope you stay and, if you need them, my gumboots are yours.
Did You Know?
Studies have shown that babies don’t smile because they’re really happy but, rather because they realize it makes their mother’s really happy.
A group of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope.
We are all made of stardust. Iron can only be naturally produced in one place. It can only be forged from dying stars.
The Roman Emperor Caligula once declared war on Neptune, the god of the seas. His men ran to the ocean and stabbed at the water.
A group of ladybugs is called a loveliness.
“Slang” actually means “shortened language.” Therefore slang is slang for slang.
This year’s autumnal equinox is on September 22, at 6:43 a.m. MT. This is one of two times throughout the year when the sun is exactly above the equator, and day and night are of equal length.
In ancient Greece, the autumnal equinox was celebrated when Persephone, the goddess of spring, returned to the underworld to be with Hades. This was one explanation as to why the days get shorter, and the world a little darker.
When cats blink slowly or wink at you, it’s called a “kitty kiss.” This is seen as a sign of trust and affection.
Random acts of kindness release endorphins. (We are wired to help each other.)
I think I’m good at recommending books and movies based on emotion so, in case you need a hug, I’m going to do that now.
Movies That Love You Too:
Scrapper, 2023. A Wes Anderson-esque film about a 12-year-old girl living by herself and trying to keep social workers off her back. When her estranged father turns up, wanting to be a part of her life, things change.
Sing Street, 2016. A boy’s coming-of-age in 1980s Ireland. He starts a band to impress a girl he likes and to escape his troubled life at home.
The Parent Trap, 1998. A story about identical twin sisters that, due to their parents divorce, grow up not knowing the other exists. After meeting at a summer camp, the girls plot to switch places so they can meet the parent they never had.
Stand by Me, 1986. Based off of Stephen King’s 1982 novella—The Body—Stand by Me tells the story of four boys searching for the corpse of a boy their age, who has been killed in their local area. To quote from Letterboxd, “On the way, Gordie, Vern, Chris and Teddy encounter a mean junk man and a marsh full of leeches, as they also learn more about one another and their very different home lives. Just a lark at first, the boys’ adventure evolves into a defining event in their lives.”
Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, 2015. Another Wes Anderson-esque film. This one is about a boy coasting through his last year of high school, and interacting with as few people as possible. In his free time, he makes short films with his friend Earl… And he’s perfectly happy like that… Until his mom forces him to befriend Rachel, a girl in his class who has leukemia.
Captain Fantastic, 2016. To quote from Letterboxd, this film is about how “a father living in the forests of the Pacific Northwest with his six young kids tries to assimilate back into society.” But, really, it’s so much more than that. The reason they are trying to reenter society is because a death has occurred in the family, and they need to get to the funeral; zooming across the country in a beat-up campervan, their journey is filled with love.
10 Things I Hate About You, 1999. A rom-com based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. Do you want to smile big? This movie will make you smile big.
Silver Linings Playbook, 2012. A man with bipolar disorder moves back in with his parents and tries to get his life together. His neighbor, Tiffany, agrees to help him get his wife back… Their plan involves a dance recital.
Dazed and Confused, 1993. Alright, alright, alright! This film follows a group of Texan teenagers on their last day of school. The year is 1976, and Randall “Pink” Floyd’s football coach is trying to make him sign a “no drugs” pledge. Not happening.
Books for Every Occasion:
The Raven Boys, by Maggie Stiefvater. Do you crave whimsy? Because I’m like 99% sure that if you googled whimsy right now this book would be the first search result. The first time I read this book was in 2022, and I reviewed it as follows: “I LOVED. This. I’ll admit that it took quite a while to pick up, but the characters are written perfectly. The major plotline—Glendower—pales in comparison to how powerful the bond Blue, Gansey, Adam and Ronan have with each other truly is, and the chapters where they are exploring and investigating Cabeswater ultimately act as the driving force of the story.” Since 2022, I have read this book (and its sequels) three times… I know the cover art is atrocious, but please give it a chance!
The Secret History, by Donna Tartt. So insane, so pretentious, so perfect. Donna Tartt writes masterfully and even the fanbase surrounding this novel is incredible. This is the perfect book for fall, and the perfect pick-me-up.
Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte. Old books are hard. I won’t be offended if you look at this suggestion and think, what? What occasion could this book possibly be for? But that’s okay, because I’m going to tell you: This book is miserable, and confusing, and creepy… But wow can it be hilarious too. Read it like a dark comedy.
Circe, by Madeline Miller. Just read it. Trust me.
The House in the Cerulean Sea, by T.J. Klune. Read this over the summer. It made me so happy. Here’s what Goodreads has to say about it: “The House in the Cerulean Sea is about the profound experience of discovering an unlikely family in an unexpected place—and realizing that family is yours.”
The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton. Did you have to read this in middle school too, or was that just a Canadian thing? Anyways, since it’s stuck with me for this long, I can’t, in good conscience, not recommend it. I mean, stay gold, am I right?
Okay, What Now?
Ask for help. Send this to someone you love, or even someone you don’t. Just anyone you worry about. Here are some helpful links:
hope everyone is doing okay, ilysm. (also i’d like to note that i got this post idea from benie!)
—brenna marie ౨ৎ
i loved this, a really well thought out piece and so so important to talk about.
the way you describe certain feelings and create visuals is amazing!
The outsiders permanently altered my brain chemistry omds.